How To Build Resilience Through Difficult Situations

Originally published September 2024. Updated June 2025 for clarity and additional insights.

No matter our challenges, there is one thing that we all share in common. If you are reading this post, it means that you have that one thing. Before worrying about what didn’t quite go well with you today, here is something to cheer about—Life.

Thank God for the gift of life. If you have been through a life-threatening situation, you will find it easy to value life. Since the onset of the global pandemic, one of the things we all were forced to appreciate is life. My respect goes out to those who lost their lives or loved ones in the process and to those who fought to save the lives of others. 

Being alive is the greatest gift of Life. When there is life, there is hope. Think of a time when you went through difficulties, when things didn't make sense or felt too heavy to bear. Now, count how many of those moments you overcame? You will find that the problem did not break you —it shaped you. It made you stronger.

If this doesn't feel true for you right now,  please keep reading. I promise this blog will be of help to you— it will provide practical steps on how to overcome challenges and give you a new perspective on Life. 

What is Resilience?

Cambridge Dictionary describes resilience as the ability to be happy, successful, etc. again after something difficult or bad has happened."

In other words, resilience is what you build when you're caught up in a tough situation, and the choice you make to move forward. It’s not the absence of challenges, but the decision not to be defined by them. Instead, you allow yourself to go through the process, and that process paves the way for growth, strength, and the unveiling of your greatness.

How Can We Build Resilience?

From experience, I have come to understand that there are two ways to gain from any situation. This revelation came after facing the most difficult challenge of my life.  If you can see life through the two keys that I will be revealing in this blog, then you will never go through any situation feeling defeated. 

The Two Keys to Resilience 🗝️ 

Life gives you these two outcomes:

1. Win or
2.  Learn.

You either Win or you Learn. Sound simple, right? Because it is.

Let’s take a closer look at how these two simple yet powerful words can completely change the way you approach life. 

1. Winning

Winning is the most desired outcome in life, and that's not a bad thing. But let’s be honest, wanting to win all the time can put pressure on you. When you don't 'win', it may lead to a feeling of guilt, low self-esteem, or failure.

With the rise of social media, we mostly see people sharing their wins. But rarely do they show the journey, the sacrifices, or the battles behind those wins. If all you’re experiencing right now are life struggles, then it’s hard to relate or make sense of what you see online.

Here’s a gentle caution: Not everything you see in the media is real. If you spend all your time watching others “win,” it can start to feel like you’re not good enough. And that can lead to frustration and self-doubt. Let me help you make peace with something important: You won’t win every time. And that’s okay. If all we ever did was win, we wouldn’t know how to build resilience or bounce back when things fall apart.

When you fail to achieve your goal or meet the expectations that people in authority place on you, it can affect your approach to life. The weight of the disappointment, rejection, or guilt can discourage or intimidate a person. Whether you’re a professional, working parent, student, business owner, or a leader, the disappointment is real.

But these feelings are not to be ignored. They are part of your growth process.

In my next blog, I will write on how to overcome fear and walk in boldness. Let’s stay focused on this topic: building resilience through difficult situations.

There’s a process to winning, and it’s connected to the second key:

 2. Learning

Have you heard the saying, “Life is the best teacher”? I agree. But I also believe this is the most overlooked phase of life.

If you don’t “win” in a situation, your next best option is to learn from it.

Let me be honest, sometimes you may insist on learning only through your experiences. But that’s not always the best route.  If you choose to walk through every challenge without guidance, it can take years to learn what you could have known sooner. It’s costly emotionally, mentally, financially, and sometimes, it can even cost you your life.  Choose wisdom instead. It’s more profitable in the long run.

It’s okay to have your own experiences, but don’t go through them alone. Learn from others, and if you must face it, take the lessons seriously. Valuable skills are hidden in every challenge, and what seems like a painful season now may later become a powerful part of your testimony.

I have found that learning is more rewarding. When you truly learn from a difficult situation, you’re able to build a system. That system becomes the foundation for consistent success in the future, and this can be passed on to help others navigate the process of achieving their goals.

Most of the time, we fail not because we are not capable, but because we are not prepared.

Even in your family, relationships, career, business, and personal goals, there’s a process to follow. If you haven’t reached that goal yet, don’t panic. It’s not the end of the road; it’s the beginning of something new. So look on the bright side!.

You have a choice: Would you rather rise or stay defeated?
The first is the better option, and the second? You should avoid it at all costs.

Five Steps to Building Resilience

Here are the Five Practical Steps to help you build and strengthen your Resilience:

1. Be Kind to Yourself: Don’t be too hard on yourself. You are human, and mistakes will happen.  Take some time to reward your achievement, pace yourself, and work within your capacity. Growth is a process.
2. Be Positive: A negative mindset won’t take you far. Negativity blinds you to opportunities. Look for the good, even in bad situations. Ask yourself: Is this a win or a learn moment? There is always something good that can come out of a difficult challenge. 
3. Note the Experience: This is where I agree—experience is the best teacher. Your experiences are valuable, whether in your family, work, or life, no matter the outcome.  People value those who have been through and have learned from different seasons. In the workplace, some companies would rather work with someone who has diverse experiences (including life experiences) than a person who doesn't. 
4. Take the Lessons: For example, if you have experienced heartbreak, naturally, you would want to protect yourself next time. But instead of living in fear, look back and evaluate what happened. What went wrong? What did you miss? The truth is, what you didn’t know is what failed you, not what you knew. Seek Knowledge, for personal growth and to avoid repeating the same mistakes. 
5. Get help: You don’t have to do it all alone. When you identify what is not working, seek help. Whether it’s a mentor, coach, or professional, get the support you need to improve your life and rise again. Find your tribe.

Final Thoughts

I hope this blog has been useful to you. As an added value, I am offering you a FREE copy of my e-book: "5 Steps to Launch Your Purpose"— Download your Copy here 

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